How to become an Insider

We can not talk about Kristen & Robert, without talking about a fandom, a divided fandom, but most importantly without talking about all the so-called insiders.

Everyone of us can become one. Yes my friends, your dreams will become reality! You will be a somebody in the fandom and people will respect you. But just like everyone with a reputation you'll get some haters too. Don't worry, in this article, we will give you some tips to become insiders who will confuse the fandom and make them shake.

Are you ready to become an insider and have all eyes on you?

Here it goes:

First of all, you need a connexion with Rob & Kris, no matter how
Better to have a friend, someone close, a cousin, a relative who's in the business and has a connexion with Rob & Kris, or with one of their friends.
You can pretend to be in the business yourself (if you pick that option, I suggest you go post your information on Gossip Cop, so you won't have the whole fandom on your back)
You can also pretend that your grand mother is a distant cousin of the grand-grand father of Kristen (if you live in the USA) or Rob (if you live in England). If you live in another country, be careful what details you give because they'll be important for your credibility. No matter what, you need to be a distant cousin (very distant) because you will give information but you will need enough distance that will explain why you don't know all the details. That option can be cute though, because you can talk about, I mean make up family memories.
If none of the above is to your liking you can also say that by sniffing R/K dogs' pee, your dog got information. It's not a problem if you don't have a dog, just pretend you do. You can find adorable dog pictures on the internet.
Once you made a choice, your information need be credible for the team you're on.
Nonbert: It will all be Robert's fault who cheated on Kristen for years. He doesn't deserve her.
Nonsten: It will all be Kristen's fault who cheated on Robert. She doesn't deserve him.
Robsten: Always defending Rob & Kris and attacking haters.
Then, you need to follow easy rules, so your information look believable. These rules apply for Nonbert, Nonsten & Robsten insiders
Don't spend too much time online (or make another account for that)
Stay silent. It proves that you have a life beside Rob & Kris and it proves that you're mature and busy.
Always have information when drama comes. THAT is when you will come out of the darkness.
The rest of the time people shouldn't see you, or they should see how much of a fan you are.
If you're part of the fandom, it's the same. Never give information except when there's a drama or rumors. You'll show people that you have the situation under control.
Be subtle and vague in what you say. Otherwise people will ask too many questions.
Always give information from your source after something happened, never before.
When you don't know what story to make up because there's no news about Rob & Kris, just pretend your sick, your busy, your source is on vacation or your dog has urinary problems.
People ask you too many questions? Doubt what you say? Here are some ready-to-use answers for you:
Trust in R, K or R/K. Depends on the team you're on.
You don't have to believe me, I tell you what I know, you're free to believe me or not.
*No Answers*
Soon! You will know everything
Maybe, maybe not, only them will decide
Delete the comment on your blog that puts in doubt your words
Let the followers that believe in you, defend you and speak on your behalf
You will all soon know the truth
Stay mysterious and drop quotes that people will think about
Act like the person who's upset about the fandom who refuses to see what's in front of their eyes
Say the word "Soon" at the end of all your sentences.
Make cryptic tweets and comments that will open the doors to all kind of speculations
In between your sentence use the word "Soon" again.
To help you provide information from your source to your followers, you need to read a lot! Not books but these materials:
Fanfiction.net (authors there have a wild imagination)
Tabloids, gossip sites... Even Hollywood Life (Better take example on the biggest liar)
Theories going around on Twitter, forums and comment
Remember all the signs that Rob & Kris will give and that you will change so they will work to your advantage (Depending on the team you're on, again)
Follow the members of the fandom's CSI because they'll be the one supporting your words
You're now ready to become a real insider.
If it's too complicated for you, we suggest you become a clairvoyant for Rob & Kris.

We suggest you use the same tips we gave above for insiders but you need to add some important points:
You need to be sensitive to negative waves (even if your vulgar and touchy)
Speak like someone living in a bubble, a bit emo. It will give you a style and people will think it's normal because your a clairvoyant...
Tweet regularly that you feel something (No one needs to know about your problems with your flatulences or your sense of smell)
Stay mysterious, give only parts of sentences et say that you're sorry because some things won't make people happy. (It adds suspense and people will think you're honest because you also talk about negative things)
Tell your followers that you're reading cards according to the location of the moon and its crescent in relation to Venus and the stars constellations. (No need to know anything about astrology, nobody will check, be creative)
Remind the fandom that you're not a professional clairvoyant but just an amateur. You're doing it for fun because you feel the need to (That way people won't blame you for misleading the fandom and read cards when we have no news of Rob & Kris)
To support this point, add something negative and then say "I hope I'm wrong"
Additionally to the materials above, we suggest you go read the other insiders. That way people will think you're as close to the truth as possible because the other insiders said the same (A real teamwork)
Then go look for real clairvoyants on the internet (CelebPsy for example) and repeat what she says but don't forget to add negative details in order to look credible.
Finally, just like all the insiders, never and I repeat NEVER  read cards before new information about Rob & Kris. Always after. Don't forget that you have to be creative according to the signs they give. (Your entire credibility is based on that)
There you go! It's up to you to choose if you wanna be an insider or a clairvoyant in order to fool your own fandom.

There will be a sequel to this article....when? Sooooooooooon, of course!

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