Insane insecurity

4 Reasons We Judge Others

We are insecure.
 This is the main reason we judge. When we are insecure and/or unhappy with who we are, we try to put other people down. Though it doesn’t usually build us up when we put others down, we do it anyway. We want to feel good by making others feel bad.

We are scared.
Often, when we’re scared or intimated by other people, we’ll put them down. Coworkers band together and make fun of their boss (see The Office). Two women see a prettier woman as a threat and they make fun of her outfit. When people are scared, they try to feel better by putting others down. We also may fear those who are different from us and may judge them just because they are unlike us.

We are lonely.
 As I mentioned before, there is a bonding element that goes along with judging others. When you are lonely, you might use judgments to bond with other people, but these bonds are based on negativity. The bonds you have based on judging others are superficial and are not likely to contain true substance.

We are seeking change.
 When we want our own lives to be different, we are quick to judge the lives of others. For example, if someone wants to be in a committed relationship and his friend gets engaged, he might whisper, “Oh, that girl is so not right for him. I don’t know why they’re getting married.” If we are jealous of others’ changing lives we are likely to make quick judgments.

6 Ways To Stop Judging

Monitor your thoughts.
Think about what you thinking about. I often go along thinking things about other people, judging them, and I don’t even realize it. I’m going to work on paying more attention to my thoughts and do my best to push them in a positive direction.

Look for the positive.
Judgments are negative.There is almost always something positive you can find in someone or something. While my mind might immediately focus on the negative, I can push my thoughts in a more positive direction and look for something nice to say. And, of course, if you can’t find something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Avoid stereotyping. 
Stereotypes are never, ever good. I really try to avoid them, but I know I don’t always. As I said above, they really create a lot of negativity in the world and I know I don’t want to be a part of that. I want to work on recognizing stereotypes and working to avoid them at all costs. There is no need for them in my life.

Stop judging yourself.
 It’s not all that easy to do, but the more we judge ourselves, the more we’ll judge others. I judge myself a lot and I need to work on that. I need to focus on the positive aspects of me and then it will be a lot easier to focus on the positive aspects of others. There’s no reason to be so hard on myself and I’m going to really, really work on this one.

Focus on your own life.
 When all else fails and judgments are hard to push away, focus on yourself. Don’t worry about what other people are doing/wearing/etc. Think about your own life. Focus on what you want and go after it. When you’re trying to avoid your own problems, it’s easy to criticize others. Don’t. Think about you and focus on the good things.

Remember how it feels.
 Remember how it feels to be judged. AND remember how it felt the last time you judged someone else. It doesn’t feel good to judge or to be judged so put an end to it right now. I’m going to work on remember these feelings the next time I feel like a negative thought about someone else is cropping up.

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